How I've been, lately.

Everytime I look at you, I see a wonderful being. Everytime I see your face, I can’t help but share my feelings. You’re so beautiful, so passionate, a fantastic combination. And yet I can’t get enough of you even at “salutations.” I still like I still do for I had a dream about you. A dream filled romance and confession between you and I. And I couldn’t help but think it was all reality, then I woke up with great disappointment knowing it was fantasy. My heart yearns for a change in mind, to give a second chance. And with that I will succeed because you WILL be by my side. My emotions for you had never left, had never gone, they only remain at pause. Why did I end pursuit of winning all your love? And here I am in full remorse and full repentance just waiting for the day. The day you and I will happen.

I suck at poetry but my emotioms cannot be left at bay. And all I can say is silly word play saying that I wait for the day.

I have no intention of offending those who believe my beliefs in teaching an offspring are inadequate.

The first sentence may have already explained who I am, but if it did not occur to you, then allow me to restate was implied: I am a child, as said by law. But although my stature and physical attributes do not show it, I would like to consider my intellect just as equal to those of the elderly, just not much experience. Responsibility gradually grows as you age in life, but has it not occurred to you that children are given too much responsibility? I would like the chance, if given, to partake in what most parents may say is “difficult” in having a child, not actually bear one, but have one. If I were to have a child, I want a child keep me busy in this life. I want a child to whom I can teach my knowledge about life, and have it be passed on to further generations. I want a child to remember this information, so I don’t have to repeat myself.

I want a child can do daily tasks without being told. I want a child who can keep their room clean. I want a child who can wash and dry their own laundry. I want a child who can clean the dishes after everyone has eaten their meal. I want a child to dispose of the trash fouling up the kitchen. I want a child who can clean the bathroom when it becomes to messy. I want a child who can help put away groceries. I want a child who can vacuum the carpets and curtains. I want a child to whom I can call “my little helper”, or more properly my servant.

I want a child who is very handy when it comes to technology. I want a child who knows how to print out papers. I want a child who knows how to download programs and documents. I want a child who knows how to send. I want a child who can solve problems I can’t. I want a child who can change the channel to a show of my liking. I want a child who can remind me what channel I am on. I want a child to change the channel if there is a commercial. I want a child who can accept my idiocy when I realize that a commercial is interfering with my programs. I want a child to explain to me where is the “knocking” really coming from. I want a child who can help me unlock the capabilities of my phone. I want a child to explain how one mechanism can lead me to another. I want a child who knows how to input music and songs into my cellular device. I want a child who does this without frustration. I want a child to thoroughly explain the process, even I’ll probably end up forgetting what I’ve been taught. I need tech-support.

I want a child who can accomplish goals that I made for them. I want a child to succeed on the stepping stones I made for them. I want a child to fulfill my dreams, instead of such incompetent dreams they have. I want a child who studies to the point of exhaustion. I want a child who completes ALL of their homework, before proceeding to other activities. I want a child who makes studying an activity. I want a child to receive a scholarship, so there is less to worry on future finances. I want a child to accept my constant reminders of how important school is, even if I don’t get involved with their studies. I want a child to give up a social life, so that they may focus more on their studies to achieve a scholarship. And if this be to difficult for them, I want a child who doesn’t complain that they could not reach my goal for them. I want a grade “A” student.

I want a child who can handle disappointments. I want a child who understands the problems I have at work. I want a child to comprehend my problems without me having to explain it to them. I want a child will take my repeated reminders of the problems I have at work. I want a child who understands that we don’t have money for their wants and needs. I want a child to understand that there is not enough money for them to spend on their needs, even though I spend some for my needs. I want a child to understand that earning money is difficult. I want a child to understand the fact that I am the one who “brings bread to the table”. I want a child who treasures everything I buy for them. I want a child who doesn’t dispose their “used” items even if they think it’s “old”. I want a child who knows how to save money. I want a child who allows me to withdraw from their own savings. I want a child who I don’t have to pay a debt to when I have “borrowed” from them. I want a who doesn’t hide their money, so I can take their money when I need to. I want a child to just deal with it.

I want a child to respect my authority. I want a child who follows my commands without hesitation. I want a child who doesn’t create excuses to excuse themselves from helping me with my tasks, whether they are completing homework or enjoying their relaxation time. I want a child who appreciates advice that doesn’t help them. I want a child who will listen to my childhood stories, a time when technology was nonexistent, and use what they learn from that and apply it in their lives. I want a child who doesn’t question my methods. I want a child who doesn’t back-sass me because I’m unreasonable. I want a child who doesn’t accuse me of being a tyrant. I want a child who doesn’t argue back, even if they state facts that are undeniably correct. I want a child to deal with the fact that I am always right because I am your parent. I want a child to excuse me if I have done inexcusable actions. I want a child to understand to understand I’m too old to comprehend their “modern” style of life. I want a child to always keep me happy. And I want a child who can keep me happy by adapting, or reverting, to some primitive ways so we can further have better relations. Who cares if society continues without us?

I want a child who who I can yell at when I’m angry. I want a child to be angry at because of their actions. I want a child who I can reprimand and confiscate what is most precious to them. I want a child who has to deal with the wrath of my anger. I want a child who can handle the “discipline” I will apply if I am frustrated with them.(Physical pain is the best discipline a parent can enforce) I want a child who understands I can’t control my anger because of medical conditions. I want a child who I can threaten so that they will listen to me and my demands. I want a child to shut up a listen when I am talking to them.

Having a child would make me powerful, as well as boost my self-esteem, which is healthy in preventing bottled emotions. I want a child to be my personal journal handle all the bullshit I throw at it. Aren’t children just helpful?

There is no place of learning anymore

I know that for a fact

I wonder where I can go now

To find knowledge still intact

As I listen and observe with my eyes and ears

I wonder where it’s gone

I search and investigate to a great extent

And realize learning is done

There is no point to continue our efforts

It will lead to more fatigue

I forget the reason why I wrote this

For school is out of my league

Words cannot express every emotion a person feels. It is the way his diction and tone is conveyed within those words. Connotation is just the word that describes it all in four syllables. As though much cannot be said already. Words are powerful, yet words are weak. Words are complex, yet they are simple. words are everything you can think of, there is just a certain way you use to emit the proper mood. The reader is just as creative as the writer for he or she has to think like writer, meaning they are equal. It may take a while for the reader to fully understand the writer’s message, but there is always a different interpretation for everything. Sophistication is but a lack to be inefficient and yet its hard to show in a piece. One may use long-lettered synonyms that set off arrays equal with the common word, but not flow as well. People, sometimes, forget the difference between speaking and writing, so determining mistakes in one’s speech or writings is difficult. So difficult it’s like competing in every event in the Olympics by yourself, it’s like climbing Mt. Everest without air or warm clothing, it’s like not understanding the difference between math and history. Still we undermine the value of writing. We cannot allow that to happen for words are the only thing that can penetrate even the most stubborn person and that is just what this world needs.

I have no clue how this appeared but I will post it anyways…